the right kind of love

[made by justgramm app for iphone]

love. what does it mean to you? who or what comes to mind when you hear the word love.  when does self-love and love for others become a hindrance in becoming the person we're meant to be?

lots to ponder on this day of the hearts, huh?  my post is about two people very dear to me: male and female, born in different generations yet almost lived the same life when it came down to love.  the word love for both of these people were synonymous.  they both loved hard despite betrayals, put their children and family first and their needs last.  how does someone do that? i haven't got a clue.  i have never been married, no children and was taught and raised that love isn't the only reason you stay in relationships.  

our experiences give meaning on decisions we make and beliefs that we have.  love is something that we give, it should never be asked from us.  we can't make people love us - that is a harsh reality.  what was disheartening after hearing the story of these two amazing people is that i'm not sure they knew they deserved better.  year after year they existed for the wrong reasons but had kept their heads above water without knowing they have been looking through a glass.  it is kind of like window shopping, looking at all the beautiful things and trying to put your hand on the glass hoping to feel and touch the items behind the display.  i will never know what it's like to love someone, have them near me yet it feels like i can't grasp or feel them no matter how hard i try because they don't love me the same.  i have always loved someone and was reciprocated of those feelings, regardless of how things turned out in the end.  

i believe in loving hard, no questions asked.  i also believe in self-love.  if i can't love myself and know my self worth - i can't give people the love they deserve.  sometimes, the love for others hinders us from becoming the people we're meant to be.  we become so complacent, almost like we think it is the only thing that's out there and we're just supposed to enjoy the ride.  but life isn't like that.  or at least not in my book.  while we are supposed to enjoy the ride, we are also supposed to live, not co-exist.  we are to love and be loved. the right kind of love. not settle.

i think i heard the best compliment there is from this amazing female: "you are the person i always wanted to be. you love fully but you know when to leave.  you are strong enough to know that there will always be someone out there who will appreciate you.  i didn't have that, but i taught you to love yourself. i will never know what it's like to be loved by someone as much as i loved them.  but you will."

i hope she is right.

happy valentine's day my lovely friends!!!!