September 27, 2014

publicly private

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publicly private. sounds contradicting, doesn't it? especially for someone who blogs, has a youtube channel, IG and twitter. my main thing has always been this - my writing does not necessarily reflect my current situation. it may be a thing from the past, current, or something that may not have happened at all. it is called a topic. it does not necessarily mean it is the same thing in person.  you get my drift? sometimes i write about things that may have happened to a friend (with their privacy protected, of course), a movie, a quote or literally anything under the sun. the best thing about writing is it totally allows you to be creative without limits. this is why i love it. if someone has misinterpreted my writing or took it to a different level that intended, then i have done my job. or maybe they should just calm down. why do you write/blog?

September 23, 2014

fall

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time and time again, it has been proven that people change - we change - whatever that means to each of us.  change is the only thing that is permanent in this world.  every thing else is temporary.  we all adapt and view change differently.  i used to say that "change is like second skin to me."  needless to say, at a different point in my life, that was no longer the case.  the change i made was one of the hardest things i have ever experienced in my life.  it wasn't necessarily bad but it was definitely a life changing event that made me question my faith, my strength, my capacity as a human being - it made me question my existence because i had never experience so much emotions with varying highs and lows at one given moment.  

there were so many times where i played millions of scenarios in my brain, the "what if's" - but it all boiled down to one thing - what difference would that make?  the change i needed was not from the outside.  i was trying so hard to find something else to grasp, yet the only thing i needed was inside me all along - it was courage.  the courage to accept the decisions i had made, the actions and responses that i did, the mistakes, the highs and the lows - but most of all - to accept the present.  it was a life changing event - a mere change of perspective turned my whole life around.  just like seasons, we change.  the fall season is upon us - just like fall, we lose the leaves on our branches and we start over.  just like fall - it will take a while for the leaves to be green.  just like the leaves - we fall.  just like the seasons - we also experience rebirth from falling.  we are all blessed.

September 18, 2014

always work harder

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this day in age, every one is doing their own thing.  with the rise of social media, every person seems like their own island.  i have always been taught to work hard for anything that i want.  that has carried on with me to this day.  i thank my amazing mother for that.  people always say, those who make more money are able to do things or have things and so forth.  there is a slight truth to that - and the fact is - it makes it easier for those who have the financial means to do so.  it makes it faster for them.  but let me tell you something - i don't make the same amount of money i used to when i lived in the west coast - but guess what - i'm not dying or needing help either.  it is all about what you do with your money.  now, let me tell you that this blog has never been to convince you that i am right.  no, ma'am.  no, sir.  i have always spoken for what has worked for me.  if you think it's great, cool beans.  if not, i have the same response, cool beans.  to each its own.

i always have a plan.  now, it may take a little bit longer to get there but i will get there.  reality is, people will keep talking blah blah blah.  but people like me, i like to stay quiet.  i keep working and by the time i get there - the amount of satisfaction will be incomparable.  if i didn't work hard or save money - i wouldn't be able to pay my bills or afford to live when i left my job and was unemployed for over two months.  i am also not afraid to say that i can't afford to buy certain things.  does that mean i am broke? no.  it just means, i know how to handle my money and my priorities are different. money matters.  invest in yourself. work harder because nobody cares.

September 16, 2014

hanging by a moment

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this was the first ever apartment building i lived in downtown portland when i moved in 2002.  now, all of it is just a memory - but a pretty darn good one.  have you ever looked at something or someone and know that regardless of what or how you feel you know that it is behind you?  it is not always a bad thing.  sometimes even if it is hard to do, it is for the best and there really is nothing you can do about it but leave it all behind.  i have had many experiences where i just had to leave it all behind, even if it is something in the present.  sometimes you have to look into your future with big bright eyes like a child on christmas day.  in order to look into your future, you can look back, so you'll remember what you don't what and why you left it in the first place. it's okay to hang by the moment but make sure you spend more time hanging by the moment you want to create in the future. i know opinions will differ, but i believe that it is always good to have a plan, however, the real test is how to handle the mess when things go on a different direction.  make up your mind with what you want to do, because once your mind is made up, the fear will be gone.